The wind is blowing, my sail is up and I’m ready to steer ME in the direction of my choosing. I think for far too long I have lived my life as the majority of people do… in reactive mode, never taking responsibility for my reactions to other people’s words and actions, playing the victim and assuming life was being mean and doing it to me, instead of standing up and declaring this is actually my life to walk on this planet and I will choose what pulls my strings and do as I damn well please with it. I own all the stuff ups and dumb shit created by me in my past and with that knowledge and power, I know I am free to direct my course, I set sail..
Artwork by me, check out some of my other work at JulieTurnerArt.com
I’ve hidden behind many a mask, many a role, never wanting to look in the mirror and face the power that stared back with a rawness I found too confronting. Never wanting to believe that life was actually on my side and it was just up to me to decide which direction I actually wanted to go in, always assuming I was too small to be noticed and worthy, always afraid I would say the wrong words, do the wrong thing and offend another. I realise now that living like that had placed me in a never-ending impossible maze, a maze I could never find the exit to, a world I had set up for myself that I could only ever fail in.
It’s not my responsibility how others take and react to me, just as it isn’t their responsibility how I react and take their comments.
I know my heart is kind and I am full of love and compassion for all that walk this planet, but I simply cant be everything for everyone and if things are not to my liking I have the power and the legs to walk from the situation, I’m not a doormat to be stuck in place, walked across and left out to rot when the weather turns bad.
If I was to continue spending the rest of my days like this, what sort of example am I setting for my daughter? Do I want her to go through this same turmoil or do I want her to have an empowering head start in life. I know many people prefer to gift their children a financial head start in life but I want to gift her the ability to stand strong and create a world for herself that she feels proud of, one that is full of endless opportunities. This isn’t always an easy thing for one with Autism but I don’t believe that choice should be left off the list of life for her.
To feel the power within and know that we are our own creators, to know that our only limits are in fact our negative feelings and beliefs and we need only decide to connect to all that we are in this moment of now with enthusiasm and a love of ourselves and how deserving we are is the only tool we need in our belt.
I’ve been listening a lot of late to the teachings of Abraham Hicks as I have done on and off for several years, I think I just keep coming back because it just resonates so deeply with who I am inside.
To understand that by connecting to all that we are and focusing in the Now surpasses everything.
To know that your Inner Being never looks back to the past, they are only ever focused in the now. So once you’ve thought a thought they see it as real. The sadness and disharmony so many of us feel is that we jump back into those past feeling and situations and by doing this we are in actual fact tugging ourselves away from our Now! How completely dis-empowering of ourselves! So we are creating a moment which is the exact opposite of how we were created to live and create which is JOY!! When you deny yourself of the Now you cut yourself off!!
There are soo many brilliant videos on You Tube by Abraham as channelled by Esther Hicks, this is but one in a lengthy playlist I have on my You Tube Account.
Our thoughts turn into things whether we want them to or not. So if you’re huffing and puffing stewing around in your past and expecting your future to come out rosy, there’s a good chance you’re gunna find yourself disappointed. But we don’t see this when we’re stuck in replay, we think we’re unlucky, everyone is out to get us, nothing ever works for us, and the big issue is, this can last longer than a thought, we can actually hold ourselves in this pattern indefinitely without even realising, coming to the conclusion that we must have been a complete arse in a previous lifetime, because we sure as hell got screwed over this time round.
So you can see why I want to sail my own ship and find my true north, why I’m done with the replay button and want to enjoy every delicious minute of life in the now.
What would happen in your life if you removed the replay button? What would happen if those little niggling things about past happenings were left where they belong … in the past?
Join me on my adventure, relish in a life you thought you were undeserving of. It won’t be easy, big changes never are, take it step by step, moment by moment and day by day. There is no rush, there is only NOW.
This is one of my favourite books. I started hilighting the parts I felt were important when I first got my copy. I realised after getting through the first 1/4 of the book that was pointless as I’d highlighted most of what I had read lol.
Blessings Julie xx